Talking about death does not diminish life; it enriches it, writes David Alexander
For generations, the British have been defined by their “stiff upper lip”, that quiet, composed resilience in the face of adversity.
Yet when it comes to death, this cultural habit of emotional restraint has created a profound problem…a society that struggles to talk about, plan for, or even acknowledge its own mortality. Death remains one of the last great taboos in Britain. We’ll joke about it, avoid it, or mask our discomfort with euphemisms like “passed away” or “gone to a better place”, but few of us face it head-on.
A 2023 survey by the charity Marie Curie found that nearly 70% of UK adults have not discussed their end-of-life wishes with loved ones. Even fewer have formalised those wishes in writing. The result is a nation unprepared for something that, ironically, is guaranteed for us all.
The 20th century saw death move from homes to hospitals, from communities to institutions, reinforcing the sense that it is something to be hidden away, managed discreetly and certainly not discussed over dinner. But silence comes at a cost.
Families often find themselves unprepared when a loved one dies, unsure of their wishes or how to navigate the practical and emotional aftermath. Professionals in healthcare and law see daily the confusion and distress that arise when vital conversations are never had. Avoidance leaves us vulnerable.
Change is slowly emerging. The rise of end-of-life planning services and digital platforms that help people record their wishes and memories signals a cultural shift. Younger generations, raised in an era of mental health awareness and emotional openness, are beginning to challenge the old stoicism. They see that preparing for death is not morbid, but an act of love and responsibility.
That’s why I have created a secure digital vault designed to make end-of-life planning simpler and less stressful for families. We hope Legacy Hub will help tackle the financial and emotional problems that can often make bereavement even more traumatic.
Talking about death does not diminish life; it enriches it. When we acknowledge our mortality, we often become more focused on what truly matters, from relationships to legacy. Britain’s famed resilience doesn’t need to disappear; it simply needs to evolve.
Strength today should mean not silence, but honesty and preparation. Perhaps it’s time to redefine the stiff upper lip, not as an emblem of denial, but as the quiet courage to face death with openness and empathy. Only then can we move from merely enduring life to living and dying well, ensuring your loved ones get the legacy and memories they deserve.
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David Alexander is the Founder of Legacy Hub.
https://www.lbc.co.uk/article/stiff-upper-lip-death-funerals-tech-opinion-5HjdMsY_2