Lottie Tomlinson has revealed having children helped her to grieve her late mother and sister.

The mother-of-two, 27, was only 18 when her mother, Johannah Deakin, sadly died from leukaemia in 2016.

Tragically, just three years later, she also lost her younger sister, Félicité, from an accidental drug overdose.

Now a mother herself to two young children, Lucky, two, and Flossie Grace, 10 months, Lottie has shared how becoming a parent helped heal the part of herself that she had been grieving since losing her mother.

While discussing what she believes is the most rewarding aspect of motherhood, Lottie told Daily Mail: ‘I think the most rewarding part is definitely, I just love being their everything.

‘You know, being that person who is their comfort blanket. It’s such a nice feeling as a mum and as a parent to have that, and I think it definitely heals part of me that you know, I’ve grieved since losing my mum, now that I’m a mum myself.’

Lottie Tomlinson has opened up on how having children has helped her to grieve her late mother and sister (pictured with fiancé Lewis Burton and children Lucky, two, and Flossie Grace, 10 months) 

The mother-of-two, 27, was only 18 when her mother, Johannah Deakin, sadly died from leukaemia in 2016 (pictured together)

Tragically, just three years later, she also lost her younger sister, Félicité, from an accidental drug overdose (both pictured together)

In January this year, Lottie announced the birth of her second child with fiancé Lewis Burton.

Sharing a black-and-white shot of her son Lucky peering into his newborn sister’s cot, Lottie told her Instagram followers: ‘Our little angel has arrived and she’s perfect in every way.’

Despite being a loving and caring mother, Lottie admitted that even she sometimes feels ‘mum guilt.’

While discussing the most challenging aspect of motherhood, she said: ‘The most challenging I find is the guilt, the mum guilt that comes with it and the worry.

‘The mum guilt is something that I’ve heard people talk about, but obviously, I don’t think you can really understand it until you are a mum yourself.

‘I think you want to do the absolute best for your kids, and that’s where it stems from, and it can be quite hard to manage at times.

‘And yeah, just the general worry that comes with having kids, you just want them to always be safe, always be happy, (and) always be healthy.’

Lottie’s experiences, and the death of her brother Louis Tomlinson’s One Direction bandmate Liam Payne last year, have also shaped how she talks about death with her young son.

While discussing what she believes is the most rewarding aspect of motherhood, Lottie candidly said: ‘I think the most rewarding part is definitely, I just love being their everything,

She said: ‘I’m definitely more straight talking with him about death and loss,’

Explaining further, she added: ‘There are pictures of my mum and sister around the house, and he asks questions.

‘I tell him that’s his nanny, she’s not here, she passed away and went to heaven, but we can still talk about her and have her as part of our lives.’

Reflecting on the tragedy of losing two members of her family, Lottie shared what grief has taught her about herself and how her understanding of loss has changed over time.

She said: ‘Yeah, I think obviously going through two experiences of grief has definitely given me a different perspective on life.

‘I think that’s something that is a positive to take away from those tragic experiences that I’ve had because it’s made me realise how short life is (and) how important it is to spend time with loved ones and just be happy.

‘I think that is definitely something that the grief has taught me, it’s given me a lot of perspective.’

Lottie also stressed how important it is to talk about grief and the loss of loved ones.

When asked what helped her during those early days of loss, she said: ‘I think talking about it is really important.

She continued: ‘I think the first time round I definitely bottled things up a lot because it felt too painful to talk about it, and I don’t think I had the skills and the tools to know how to talk about it.

She continued: ‘You know, being that person who is their comfort blanket. It’s such a nice feeling as a mum and as a parent to have that, and I think it definitely heals part of me that you know, I’ve grieved since losing my mum, now that I’m a mum myself’ 

‘I never got introduced to anyone professional to talk to or anything. So, I think it was a much, you know, darker experience, and it was a much longer, more painful process to get to a good place again.

‘Whereas the second time round, I did get the help and I did get therapy, and it made the whole experience just a bit more manageable.

‘Which, you know, could be the difference between life and death for some people. So I think it’s definitely so important to talk.’

Lottie shared that there are moments and milestones when her grief feels especially present – and during those times, her family come together to support each other.

She said: ‘I think this time of year is always a bit difficult, especially because the anniversary of my mum’s death is in December.

‘But I think, mainly for me, it is Mother’s Day and anniversaries of their death. Those dates just bring a lot of grief back to the surface, and they bring back a lot of memories.

‘We always get together on those days and try to make it a bit more of a positive day rather than it being too sad.

‘Obviously, there’s going to be that sadness element there, but we want to try and remember the happy times and make it slightly easier for everyone.’

In January this year, Lottie announced the birth of her second child with fiancé Lewis 

Now, Lottie is turning heartbreak into action as an advocate for Legacy Hub, a platform designed to help families record their wishes, organise their affairs and leave messages for loved ones.

She said: ‘Planning for the future and sharing your wishes is so important. Having an app like Legacy Hub makes it easy and safe to store those wishes so your family know exactly what you want.

‘It can be the difference between your family being able to grieve properly, or it becoming a whole lot harder.’

Lottie also treasures the keepsakes that connect her to her loved ones.

She said: ‘I’ve kept hold of loads of special little items from my mum and sister – cards, notes, photos,’

‘I’ve got cards my mum gave me on my prom night, which are so special. Those messages mean so much because when you lose someone, you lose those words they gave you. Being able to read them back helps you feel connected.’

Lottie added: ‘You lose the person, and you lose the words they gave you. But when you’ve got something to look back on, a message, a card, a note, it helps you stay connected. That’s why I think planning and saving those things is so important.’

Discussing the business and what she hopes to achieve, Lottie said: ‘I think it’s an amazing way to avoid being in a situation. 

Lottie is the younger half-sister of Louis Tomlinson (both pictured in June)

Louis rose to fame after competing on the X Factor in 2010, becoming part of One Direction alongside Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, and the late Liam Payne (L-R Zayn, Louis, Liam, Niall, and Harry)

‘You know, after losing someone, kind of like what we found ourselves in that there was no written will, it made it difficult for us to fight for her wishes that we knew were her wishes through her speaking them to us.’ 

Speaking about how the business started, she continued: ‘We’ve been working on this for a while now, and I’ve got an amazing business partner and team behind me.

‘I’m just really excited to get this launched and hopefully get that message out there, because I think work that I do, like this, I just find it so fulfilling.

‘You know, I love my fashion and beauty and the work that I do. But my work, that means something to me, always feels so fulfilling. Like my work with Sue Ryder, and they’re going to play a part in the business as well.

‘It’s going to be a donation of money that is brought in through subscriptions, that’s going to go to them and several other charities.

She added: ‘It’s just nice to be able to do something that’s hopefully going to solve a problem that no one should have to go through.’

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-15284907/Lottie-Tomlinson-reveals-having-children-helped-grieve-late-mother-sister-reflects-familys-tragedies-mum-healed-me.html

Gravest mistakes

MILLIONS of us refuse to discuss death with our loved ones – and it could prove costly, a survey suggests.

A third have never spoken to family about funeral plans or where important personal documents are stored. Four in ten find it too upsetting, according to the poll for secure digital vault service Legacy Hub.

It says £80 billion is unclaimed in Britain because families cannot find savings, investments and insurance policies.

Legacy Hub’s David Alexander said: “When it comes to death, most of us just cross our fingers and hope for the best.”

16th November 2025
Page: 30

Talking about death does not diminish life; it enriches it, writes David Alexander

For generations, the British have been defined by their “stiff upper lip”, that quiet, composed resilience in the face of adversity.

Yet when it comes to death, this cultural habit of emotional restraint has created a profound problem…a society that struggles to talk about, plan for, or even acknowledge its own mortality. Death remains one of the last great taboos in Britain. We’ll joke about it, avoid it, or mask our discomfort with euphemisms like “passed away” or “gone to a better place”, but few of us face it head-on.

A 2023 survey by the charity Marie Curie found that nearly 70% of UK adults have not discussed their end-of-life wishes with loved ones. Even fewer have formalised those wishes in writing. The result is a nation unprepared for something that, ironically, is guaranteed for us all.

The 20th century saw death move from homes to hospitals, from communities to institutions, reinforcing the sense that it is something to be hidden away, managed discreetly and certainly not discussed over dinner. But silence comes at a cost.

Families often find themselves unprepared when a loved one dies, unsure of their wishes or how to navigate the practical and emotional aftermath. Professionals in healthcare and law see daily the confusion and distress that arise when vital conversations are never had. Avoidance leaves us vulnerable.

Change is slowly emerging. The rise of end-of-life planning services and digital platforms that help people record their wishes and memories signals a cultural shift. Younger generations, raised in an era of mental health awareness and emotional openness, are beginning to challenge the old stoicism. They see that preparing for death is not morbid, but an act of love and responsibility.

That’s why I have created a secure digital vault designed to make end-of-life planning simpler and less stressful for families. We hope Legacy Hub will help tackle the financial and emotional problems that can often make bereavement even more traumatic.

Talking about death does not diminish life; it enriches it. When we acknowledge our mortality, we often become more focused on what truly matters, from relationships to legacy. Britain’s famed resilience doesn’t need to disappear; it simply needs to evolve.

Strength today should mean not silence, but honesty and preparation. Perhaps it’s time to redefine the stiff upper lip, not as an emblem of denial, but as the quiet courage to face death with openness and empathy. Only then can we move from merely enduring life to living and dying well, ensuring your loved ones get the legacy and memories they deserve.

____________________

David Alexander is the Founder of Legacy Hub.

https://www.lbc.co.uk/article/stiff-upper-lip-death-funerals-tech-opinion-5HjdMsY_2

Billions of pounds are going unclaimed because millions of Brits refuse the hard talk about death with their families – finding it too morbid, upsetting, or awkward, according to new research.

Around a third of people (34 percent) admit they’ve had no discussions about their final wishes with their family.

This includes funeral plans to important documents, while another 43 percent say they don’t want to talk about death because it’s too upsetting.

Despite death being a rite of passage, new numbers by Legacy Hub shows the topic is still taboo in many households.

Their research found (25 percent) think it is ‘too morbid’ to discuss. Meanwhile, almost one-fifth (19 percent) say ‘they don’t know how to start the conversation’

Newest figures show the lack of discussion around death has resulted in £80 billion of wealth being unclaimed because the bereaved cannot find a will, investments, or insurance policies when their loved one dies.

It is an issue Legacy Hub wants to cull by encouraging people to safely record their wishes and store important documents and records in one place.

Legacy Hub experts are blaming the British stiff-upper-lip mentality that is getting in the way, meaning families are left to deal with the fallout.

Lottie Tomlinson, sister to former One Direction star Louis Tomlinson, was only 18 when their mother died from leukaemia in 2016.

Devastation hit them again when, only three years later, their younger sister Félicité died from an accidental overdose.

The 27-year-old mother of two said, ‘I feel like we weren’t prepared at all. It was such a shock. You can’t ever fully prepare for losing someone, but you can plan for it. A situation that’s already going to be so painful can be made a tiny bit easier with planning.’

She explained her experiences have shaped the way she thinks about death and loss, saying she’s become more straightforward when it comes to talking about it.

‘There are pictures of my mum and sister around the house, and he asks questions. I tell him that’s his nanny, she’s not here, she passed away and went to heaven, but we can still talk about her and have her as part of our lives.’

Through her grief, she acknowledged how important it is to be open and spoke about how her younger sister struggled with their mother’s loss.

‘Maybe that could have been prevented if she’d felt more comfortable talking about her grief. When I bottled things up, I went to dark places, I was lucky to come out of that, but some people aren’t so lucky. If we can all get more comfortable talking about it, it could save lives.’

Lottie added: ‘Planning for the future and sharing your wishes is so important. Having an app like Legacy Hub makes it easy and safe to store those wishes so your family know exactly what you want. It can be the difference between your family being able to grieve properly, or it becoming a whole lot harder.’

She also treasures the keepsakes, such as cards, notes, and photos, and reminisces about the good times with her loved ones.

‘I’ve got cards my mum gave me on my prom night, which are so special. Those messages mean so much because when you lose someone, you lose those words they gave you. Being able to read them back helps you feel connected.’

The new service, Legacy Hub, which is a secure digital vault, aims to tackle the financial and emotional problems that can make a death in the family a more traumatic experience for those left behind.

Founder David Alexander said: ‘We plan weddings, birthdays, and even holidays in meticulous detail, but when it comes to death, most of us just cross our fingers and hope for the best. That silence means families are left in chaos, not knowing what someone wanted or where to find vital information when they pass away.

‘Legacy Hub keeps not only the important practical information in one place, but also precious memories and final wishes, helping loved ones find comfort, clarity, and connection at a time they need it most.’

Your legacy, organised. Your family, supported.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15294367/amp/The-final-cold-shoulder-Shock-poll-reveals-millions-refuse-talk-loved-ones-deaths.html

Billions of pounds are going unclaimed because millions of Brits refuse the hard talk about death with their families – finding it too morbid, upsetting, or awkward, according to new research.

Around a third of people (34 percent) admit they’ve had no discussions about their final wishes with their family.

This includes funeral plans to important documents, while another 43 percent say they don’t want to talk about death because it’s too upsetting.

Despite death being a rite of passage, new numbers by Legacy Hub shows the topic is still taboo in many households.

Their research found (25 percent) think it is ‘too morbid’ to discuss. Meanwhile, almost one-fifth (19 percent) say ‘they don’t know how to start the conversation’

Newest figures show the lack of discussion around death has resulted in £80 billion of wealth being unclaimed because the bereaved cannot find a will, investments, or insurance policies when their loved one dies.

It is an issue Legacy Hub wants to cull by encouraging people to safely record their wishes and store important documents and records in one place.

Legacy Hub experts are blaming the British stiff-upper-lip mentality that is getting in the way, meaning families are left to deal with the fallout.

Around a third of people (34 percent) admit they’ve had no discussions about their final wishes with their family

Lottie Tomlinson, sister to former One Direction star Louis Tomlinson, was only 18 when their mother died from leukaemia in 2016.

Devastation hit them again when, only three years later, their younger sister Félicité died from an accidental overdose.

The 27-year-old mother of two said, ‘I feel like we weren’t prepared at all. It was such a shock. You can’t ever fully prepare for losing someone, but you can plan for it. A situation that’s already going to be so painful can be made a tiny bit easier with planning.’

She explained her experiences have shaped the way she thinks about death and loss, saying she’s become more straightforward when it comes to talking about it.

‘There are pictures of my mum and sister around the house, and he asks questions. I tell him that’s his nanny, she’s not here, she passed away and went to heaven, but we can still talk about her and have her as part of our lives.’

Through her grief, she acknowledged how important it is to be open and spoke about how her younger sister struggled with their mother’s loss.

‘Maybe that could have been prevented if she’d felt more comfortable talking about her grief. When I bottled things up, I went to dark places, I was lucky to come out of that, but some people aren’t so lucky. If we can all get more comfortable talking about it, it could save lives.’

Lottie added: ‘Planning for the future and sharing your wishes is so important. Having an app like Legacy Hub makes it easy and safe to store those wishes so your family know exactly what you want. It can be the difference between your family being able to grieve properly, or it becoming a whole lot harder.’

Legacy Hub research found (25 percent) think it is ‘too morbid’ to discuss. Meanwhile, almost one-fifth (19 percent) say ‘they don’t know how to start the conversation’

She also treasures the keepsakes, such as cards, notes, and photos, and reminisces about the good times with her loved ones.

‘I’ve got cards my mum gave me on my prom night, which are so special. Those messages mean so much because when you lose someone, you lose those words they gave you. Being able to read them back helps you feel connected.’

The new service, Legacy Hub, which is a secure digital vault, aims to tackle the financial and emotional problems that can make a death in the family a more traumatic experience for those left behind.

Founder David Alexander said: ‘We plan weddings, birthdays, and even holidays in meticulous detail, but when it comes to death, most of us just cross our fingers and hope for the best. That silence means families are left in chaos, not knowing what someone wanted or where to find vital information when they pass away.

‘Legacy Hub keeps not only the important practical information in one place, but also precious memories and final wishes, helping loved ones find comfort, clarity, and connection at a time they need it most.’

https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/news/article-15294367/The-final-cold-shoulder-Shock-poll-reveals-millions-refuse-talk-loved-ones-deaths.html